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Colin Davis

 

standing mute
your silence itself a witness
to your single pointed devotion
eyes turned to the sky
glistening with inspired tears
as you gaze upon the naked face
of your Beloved

i imagine running my fingers across your cheek
feeling the cracks in your skin
so much like mine
so unlike mine

and i wonder
how much sorrow, how much pain
you’ve seen with those god-haunted eyes

i see the contortions of your ecstasy
and i imagine twisting myself
a mimicry of your devotion
and i know that i can’t do it
my flesh would tear
my bones would break

and maybe that’s your secret
that endless joy only comes through pain
pierced with arrows or crushed by stones
burned at the stake or nailed to the cross
or even the quiet torment of the spirit
as death steals the love from your heart
as grief strips the breath from your lungs

when everything is torn away
all you have left to love is god

and maybe i don’t want to love god that much