believing secretly that I would be the one person in the history of man who would live forever

Chris Ryan Lauer

elizabeth street
several women in shades of green
resemble eva
but i sleep next to others now
and the upper crust of this city pay them all white salary
                   it’s important to be in love most of the time
                   all of the time
or in something that closely resembles it
                   i find myself sleeping and waking everyday without an instruction manual
                    and the postal van that’s parked in front of my mailbox
                                       is the enemy
i think through conflicted feelings
contrived intimacy
and a lack of authenticity
but coffee
the opening of my soap glazed shower door
                    allows the light to come in each morning
there’s still one cloud left over my home
but i don’t pay much attention to it
because i live in its interior
where a manic scene
                    of wine
                     laughter & gesticulation
                     within a certain vacuous civilization intersect
each night

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