Dionne Poindexter

I feel outside myself, as if my echo inhabits this space
My head fogged and tone deaf, my heart seeps from my bone
Body detached, untethered from gravity
Questioning
How did I get here

The moment of quiet 
Where time becomes untied
Pushing through fear, while trying to gather my strength off the floor
I have lost all color but the grey folds beneath me
I hate this for myself
I HATE 
You

Why must men use their bodies as arsenals
While the women must brace the impact
Why the might of flaccid domination
To unmake her radiance, such luminosity 
Where was your head when that moment came 

My insecure desire, strayed in my artificial vulnerability
All trust dissolved, irreversible in human nature
And every reaction to the action that persists
An ego coated with shame and fallen grace
Indefinitely scabbed

I did not know enough

Emotional abrasion 
Like the tightness of skin pulling against the ache of a scab 
Heart and vessels scraped against the gravel 
Words floated in the air
Escaping a fate
The descent of trust 

Has anyone ever told you
In the brown of your eyes, a child
Lost in the deception of his own rage

Should you choose to mature, my hope 
You learn
To love that part of yourself

As for me…
How this moment defines my path remains clouded and surreal
I could trail the darkness, clinging to your callous contribution 
Still tingling at the surface of my flesh

I could fall to the favor of depressive action
Eroding my marrow to the jaw of open wounds
Nothing new

I can allow healing to milk over 
The fractures that dishonor my body
Lift my eyes to the light
Find the courage to live, a gratified existence

The depth of such choices 
You will never have the privilege to know