Urban Dictionary

By Kendall Wiggins

I shaved my balls for this//

//Went to drunk yoga drunk

(and naked, to be honest)

Still up because…               [white line fever]

I couln’t sleep

I mean cause I was threading the needle all night

yeah, all night

//Christmas was rough

Mother going mother nuts (that grandma fooler, what the fuck?)

Shit the bed when I showed her…

And I wonder why

I have Santaphobia

//I was going freestyle when I said I love you

but it was a 3-minute passion statement

I had Carpal Tinder Syndrome and baker’s block

I made sadghetti instead

[bitches gotta eat]

//Got a call from a guy today

he said

hey you

hey sidedick #2

i’m omy2syg

(it was a text message, actually)

//You say I’m an ass jacket

I give you a punchpology

“Worldstar!!”

cause you done

fucked. up.

(closet psycho)

So much for friends with penalties//

//What a

#year

* Write poems and proses in which you set yourself the task of using particular words,
chosen at random (I chose the last 30 Urbandictionary words of the day)