Sarah Khalil
Death. Grief feels like your arteries have physically disconnected from your heart.
Not receiving a text back after continuing the conversation. And starting it. Going out of your comfort zone to achieve any sort of relationship only to never see the three dots again so quickly. You know nothing was said wrong on your part.
Saying something with such confidence. Later to have your conscious doubt you. You only said it to let him know. You're not one to mess with. But somehow, he convinced you that you were in the wrong. Not him. Anyone but him.
Wondering what is wrong with yourself.
Having someone tell you “What is wrong with you?”
Being the one to blame.
Never feeling pure love. Parents do not count. Their love is debatable.
Hurting someone you deeply care about. Whether by accident or intentionally.
Being betrayed by family. Blood related or not. They earned that title in your head just to throw it back at you. Right in your eye.
Getting hit in the eye.
Papercuts. That pain shoots straight to the heart.
Working so hard only to never be acknowledged for it. Having the fear that reality will be constant. Thinking you don’t deserve that recognition. Then again it is just a job.
Ruining every job you’ve had. Writer. Server. Daughter.
Reflecting on heartbreaking things. Realizing how much has terribly gone wrong. Wondering if others feel this way.
Knowing not everyone else feels the same way you do.
Seeing people living your dream. Knowing pride is what should be felt. Yet anger and sadness cloud that emotion.
CLAMOR 