Hey, Ladies!

Abigail Mandlin

Hey, ladies!
Don’t you wanna topple the patriarchy?
Buy our stuff! We’ve got bobbles and whats-its, trinkets and whos-its. She’s wearing this! She’s wearing that! Don’t you want it too? You can’t fight the misogynists if you ain’t cute. Those legs better be silky smooth if you wanna break open the glass ceiling. God forbid you have a hair between your eyebrows, a stray beneath your chin. Every boss-ass bitch needs a good purse, right? Where else are you gonna put your mascara, your foundation, your eyeshadow, your lipstick? Those cat-eyes need to be sharp enough to kill! You’re gonna want to smell like fucking roses when you attend the company merger, right? Under the armpits and beneath the knees and down there, if you know what I mean. You gotta be pretty when you pick up that check, babycakes; otherwise, what’s the point? As my grandma used to say, you better be dressin’ like you have a reason to live!
Hey, ladies, don’t you wanna topple the patriarchy?
Buy our stuff!

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